The Cupcake Momma

Reviews, Stories, Pictures and of course Cupcakes

Children and How To Deal With Death June 25, 2013

Life and Death are some of the hardest things to talk about. We shrink when our kids ask us about babies and how they get here but we seem to act the same way when asked about Death.

I am very blunt with my children but on their level. When asked about birth I say that when a mommy and a daddy love each other so much they have a baby. This baby grows in mommy’s tummy and when the baby is to big the doctor takes the baby out through a whole. I had C-sections so its a little easier to explain. This answer seems to be good for now. However death is a little bit harder to explain at times.

Right after Christmas this year my husbands grandmother died. It was very sudden and very unexpected. She wasn’t that old. My husband handled it fine but the kids started to ask questions. They had just seen her a day or two before and everything was fine but now she wasn’t there anymore. It didn’t seem to faze my youngest, Emma, but my oldest, Anna cried. She was sad and was hard to console for about 20 minutes. She asked about where Grammy went, why Grammy died, she asked if she was going to die, if grandpa and mom and dad were going to die.

To a child death, interrupts there concept of a Disney dream. Where everything is great and wonderful and no problems exist. but in reality death is a part of life.

I told my girls that everyone will die. That from the moment we are born God decides when we will die. That it is something completely out of our control and we can do nothing about it. But at the same time it is something we shouldn’t be afraid of. The Bible says that it is appointed unto man once to die. Its going to happen. I think it hurts children when we shield them to much. we don’t need to be graphic or disgusting when telling about life or death but we need to be truthful.

Here is what I say when asked by my kids these questions:

Am I going to Die? Yes, but not till you are very old, Truth is I don’t know but most people associate death with age so it makes sense.

Will you die? Same answer, Yes, but not for a long time.

Where will I go? For some people this is a difficult question. I teach my children the Bible and that If we believe in Jesus, that he died for our sins, rose again and confess our sins we will one day go to heaven.

I don’t have all the answers and I have made and will make plenty of mistakes but I have found that the truth is always the best.

If you have experienced this with your children let me know. I would love to know what your answers were.

 

 

 

Paula Deen and The Death Of Common Sense

Filed under: Stories — thecupcakemomma @ 6:09 pm
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Well, unless you have been living under a rock you know a little or have at least heard about the controversy over Paula Deen and the use of the N-word. I have been reading about it since the news broke and I have been trying to keep up with all the ins and outs of the conversation. I have listened to both sides of the argument and many different pundits as well as news outlets. And, I have, like most people, drawn my own conclusion to the matter. A few questions in my mind keep propping up and for the most part I haven’t heard an answer.

1. My first response and first question; What?

Who hasn’t said something in their past or even five minutes ago that they probably shouldn’t have.

2. Do I, or Paula Deen, need to apologize for anything that was said in the privacy of our own home?

According to many sides, yes? there seems that there is no such thing as privacy, or something said in confidence. This is a shame to me. What ever happened to having a secret to venting to someone and moving on. To living out who you really are in front of just one or maybe two people that have your strict confidence. Teens and children and even young adults are taught to be who they really are, speak their mind, and say it like they see it, yet when someone says something controversial it is suddenly the end of the world and all the freedom mysteriously vanishes. I listen to both conservative and liberal people and on may occasions liberals tell people they are stupid, ignorant and rude for speaking their mind. Name calling on either side is wrong. Yet somehow society has twisted the views of what is right and wrong to be that if you disagree with someone you are hateful and should be done a way with.

3. What about my teens?

I work with teenagers , which in and of itself is sometimes a difficult problem but I love them all and I can’t wait to see what wonderful people they turn in to. With that said, I heard them use the N-Word and much more all the time. I tell them not to say it and to not call names, however most of the time they are using it to refer to each other and to themselves on occasion. Why is it only wrong when someone who is white or older uses the word? What about my teens? When they get a job in the next few years or weeks are they going to have to apologize for using the word, even if it was out of frustration, or to refer to themselves?

4. What, if anything, should our kids be taught about racism.

well, I have thought of this a lot because of what our society is like that we live in. I am white but I live in a predominately black, Hispanic  and poor area. And in the past 5 years or so have experienced racism myself. This is not just a white on black issue. With that said, what should children know about race? I have a 7, soon to be 8 year old, a 6 year old and a two year old and only once has a question of “color” every come up. This is how it went;

My youngest daughter, Emma was in the school office with me one afternoon when a Hispanic couple and their daughter came in to look at the school. I stopped to talk to the couple, who spoke broken English and commented on how beautiful their daughter was. Emma watched carefully and smiled at the little girl. When we were done talking and both of us started to walk away, Emma looked up at me, at the time she was 4 and asked; ” mommy, Why is their skin dark?” At first I kind of laughed because I thought it was a strange question for a child who went to school with several black children and had never asked before. I simply said, “because that is how God made them.” It was enough for her she said, “Oh” and hasn’t asked another question about color since then. It is normal for children as they develop to start noticing a difference in boys and girls, white and black, long and short hair. This is normal and healthy. We have several black friends and many black teens and children we work with. I don’t think our children should be afraid to ask questions about race, to wonder why we are all different and unique. It is how the questions are answered that makes all the difference. children shouldn’t be told not to talk about it, not to question, not to wonder. It is normal to wonder and they shouldn’t be made to believe they are being hateful simply because they ask a question about race or color.

I know how kids talk to each other and how teens act and I know that eventually my children will be faced with racism towards them and they might even be guilty was saying something derogatory. When the time comes both will be dealt with but until then, as long as we teach our children to love one another, to respect people and their views, to Love God, to speak the truth in kindness, to state what they believe and not stand for someone belittling them I believe the world would be a different place.

5. Are all southerners going to be perceived as racist?

Well if you haven’t noticed, all white people are racist and all southerners are very racist. Or so we are all told to believe. Even the president, who is suppose to bring all races and societies together, said that his grandmother was just a typical white person. So let me tell you what the typical white southern person is like.

we happen to be white and we are constantly reminded of it, good or bad.

we are told we are racist and that we were born that way.

we are told we owe something to other races.

the south is bad and white people from the south are worse.

This seems extreme and hardly anyone would say these things out loud that believed them but this is how white people are treated at times especially those in prominent positions.

In actuality, I don’t know many racist white people, in fact I don’t know any. I dislike them as much as black people that hate white people. I have no use for that mentality. It’s hurtful

6. last question; Politically correct or Common Sense?

Political correctness is the death of common sense. As a society we are taught that we must tolerate everyone even if they go against, or force their views on us. We are told that in describing a criminal, color shouldn’t come into the equation. We are told that if we don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, choices, or behavior we are hateful. We are promised life, liberty and the persute of happiness. we aren’t promised that we will always have our way or that people will agree with us. our children need to be taught to toughen up to stand up for themselves and state what they believe in with conviction. It is never right to use derogatory names to describe or refer to someone but should Paula Deen loose her job because of it? A while back Juan Williams lost his job with a certain news outlet because he made a comment about someone that was taken as stereotyping. This, in my opinion was just as wrong. Not necessarily what he said but that he was fired for saying it. It is a shame that politicians can be involved in killing, (indirectly), prostitution, lying and so much more but as soon as someone says something that might be seen as a stereotype they loose their jobs.

Well, I think I spoke my mind enough. I would love to know what you think about it. Have you had your children as questions? how did you handle it? I’d love to know.

Life throws a lot of challenges our way, we need to learn the correct way to handle things and then get over it.

 

 

North West, A Baby Name? June 22, 2013

Filed under: Stories — thecupcakemomma @ 3:13 am
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Well, another celebrity has taken claim, this time, to a “direction.” It always amazes me that celebrities think they are somehow more important than the average person, to the point that a name they pick out for their babies has to wow everyone. Recently Kim Kardashian and Kanye went gave birth to a child they have chosen to name “North.” I feel sorry for these celebrity babies. It isn’t enough that they already are so sought after. From the moment they are born, people are snapping their pictures and following them. They grow up with no privacy, no permanent home, going to special schools and chased constantly. Knowing all of this, their parents still name them strange things like, apple, blue Ivy, and North. Kids have it hard enough in school without the added stresses of a strange name setting them, even more apart form everyone else. I can hear the kids giggling now as they are learning about their colors or discussing the fruits on the food pyramid (or food plate now) or learning about the directions, North, South, East and West. Which brings me to a different question. If Kim and Kanye have anymore kids will they be named South West, East West and then….. Jim West?

Very Strange to me.

What do you think? Maybe you have heard of a name that is even more strange. Let me know.

 

 

How To Look Hot In A Minivan June 19, 2013

How To Look Hot In A Minivan has to be the best book I have seen in a while. It is written by Janice Min who worked for the magazine US weekly. she covered many celebrity stories and she is, as far as I’m concerned, an expert on fashion and everything moms. I’ll tell you why. She won me over within the first few pages of her book because she addressed the myths of celebrity weight loss and beauty. We all know celebrities just aren’t real. They are the closest things to plastic that are living. I’m not saying that to be mean but we were all thinking it anyway. yes they are living breathing humans, however we have seen them airbrushed, flushed, foofed, primped, trimmed, toned, and dieted to perfection. Now tell me a woman, preferably a mom, who couldn’t look even half that good with all celebrities have at their disposal. Really, do they actually see their kids during a day. They stay out of public for a month or more, workout vigorously, and eat only what is given to them by a celebrity chef. Then they have the nerve to come out of hiding and say they lost all their weight due to breastfeeding. I don’t know about you but that is an insult.

Lately it seems celebrities are starting to realize that we know their secrets and for them to say they lost all the weight breastfeeding, is now becoming a joke. A few celebrities like, Busy Phillips have come out saying they had to work hard to get back in shape, that sometimes it was harder after the second child. These admissions lighten the load on most moms as we realize we really can Look Hot In A Minivan. In her book, Janice MIn, talks candidly about her issues post baby, her struggles and what we can do to over come most of them. She has a second in the book that answers the questions we all want to ask but don’t because we are sometimes to afraid. She gets doctors advice and puts to rest a lot of the myths we have all grown up believing were true.

In later chapters she discusses clothing, the essential pieces, the best undergarments, swimwear and the list goes on. she gives the information in short concise burst that is a must for the mom on the go. It is also written in magazine style, two columns per page which also adds in fast reading.

Love her book and I give it a 5 out of 5 butterflies (because I love butterflies)

Check Amazon or your local library to get the book.

 

Summer Fun, and Sometimes Boredom June 13, 2013

Summer can be a great time, but after the first few days of being home wears off, some kids start looking forward to doing something else. So what can you do during the summer? Things that don’t take a lot of money, gas or require a year pass of some kind. Here are ten things I am either doing or would like to do with my kids this summer.

1. Summer reading program – Check with your local library for all the free or lost activities they offer during the summer. Some libraries do over night camps, reading programs, art, crafts, computer lessons, music lessons and so much more. Libraries are a great source of not only great books but fun activities.

2. Teach your child music – I know what you are saying, “But I can’t play the piano, and I know nothing about music.” truthfully, you don’t have to know much to be able to help your child with music. YouTube is a great place to take “music lessons.” It is free and will possibly ignite a fire for music learning in your child. It is amazing what you can learn all on your own. Thomas Jefferson learned Spanish over a few weeks just by teaching himself. Possibilities are endless when you have a desire to learn.

3. water activities – to tell you the truth I am not  a huge fan of being in the water. I live in Florida and pretty much over where you look there is water or the ocean. I love going on cruises, being in a boat, fishing, and just sitting and looking at it, but kids love water and are always looking to get in it. (have you ever noticed they can’t resist a mud puddle?) most parks have a water area that is safe, clean and just enough water to get wet but not submersed. If you don’t have an ocean, lake, river, park with water area or mud puddle you can have lots of fun with a sprinkler or just a hose hung over a tree branch. Where there is a will there is a way.

4. VBS – Vacation Bible School is a great way to entertain your kids for an entire week wit games, crafts, food and friends all for free while they are learning some pretty amazing things. My church has a VBS every years but I can’t think of a church that doesn’t have one every year. I know some people who go around to every VBS in the area with their kids all summer or mostly June and July.

5. Start a garden – This will take a little money. Depending on how you chose to do it will determine your price. Kids, regardless of what society tells you and what your own kids tell you, they do like to work. I’m not talking back breaking work but work that creates something. They will love to see what they can make, grow, learn and eventually eat when it is all done.

6. Play dates – I have to admit I am not a huge fan. I don’t want to watch other peoples kids while go off shopping and consider that a play date. However, there are ways to do it where you, as a mom, and your kids can have fun. Invite over a few kids and their mom to stay for a tea, movie party, backyard beach blast, AKA: hose over the tree branch, or anything else you can think of that will involve the kids playing and you and the other mom talking. Word to the wise, If you don’t like the mom don’t invite the family over.

7. Museums – I love history, art and culture and all children should be exposed to it. So many kids, teens and young adults have no idea who Rembrandt, Monet, Michelangelo, and Beethoven were. visit a museaum. Most local museums are pretty reasonable on price. If you are really cheap or just simply can’t afford it, there are many books, magazines, and movies at the library that are kid oriented you could check out.

8. Historical sights – Again, I love history. I find just about every era to be fascinating. You might think you don’t live near a historical sight but think again. Everything, and everyplace has history. For instance, I live in florida but the closest “historical sight” is St. Augustine. However, florida is dotted with Inidan mounds. Indian mounds are very interesting, You can’t take anything from them but you can look and learn from what is there. They are in the middle of fields, near rivers, and sometimes in peoples back yards. They are littlered with pottery and great things to look at. Do a little research before you go, if you have them in your area, that way you will know what you find laying around. do some research about your area, city or state and you will be surprised what you will find.

9. Whatever – Yep, I ment whatever. I have read the books, babies magazines, doctors magazines, listened to the pediatricians and celebritiy advice (celebrity only because it makes me laugh) and all of them seem to think that structure, and constant activities is what all children need. We live in a world where kids are over “worked,” they play soccer, basketball, volleyball, gymnastics, art school, music school, regular school, after school programs and the list goes on. Some people have their kids in al these things beause they want to live vicariously through their children, that somehow they missed out on something. Kids need to stay busy but being to busy is just as bad as having nothing to do. kids need down time just like adults, they don’t always need to be played with or entertained. I feel that it is important for kids to be still, to play by themselves and to function on their own. Im not talking, leave them alone while I go shopping but I am saying that imaginative play is important. Movies are a great way to relax, games and video games are fun as well. My suggestion is have one or two planned activites a week and then the rest of the time, play outside, have a craft table in the kitchen and maybe even have your kids play with those millions of toys they get every year and never play with.

10. z00 – I love the zoo and seeing all the animals. I feel like I learn something every time. Plus some zoos also have a water area. if you plan on going more than once a membership is the way to go. Sometimes they are as low as 40 dollars a year.

There are so many things that you can do during the summer with your kids. Just yesterday someone dropped off two truck loads of dirt in our backyard. ( a huge blessing because we have sand and rock everywhere in the yard and unless we have topsoil we can’t grow anything.) Someone was digging a hole for their pool and just dropped by to see if we wanted it. Awesome. My kids think so too. they have been climbing digging and spreading it around for us. The best part is, its free fun.

If you have an idea of stuff to do during the summer let me know. I will research and write about it.

stay tuned for my next post about working moms and summer time

 

They watch over babies May 29, 2013

Filed under: My Kids,Uncategorized — thecupcakemomma @ 5:17 am
Tags: , , ,

Sometimes i wonder what my children dream about, especially when they can’t speak and tell me. When my babies were babies I would watch them sleep. Their facial expression were priceless as their mouths twitched into a smile or frown and little sigh’s or laughs escaped them. What were they dreaming about? Were they really dreaming or just plagued with gas? Well I choose to believe they were dreaming. Maybe about the inside of my stomach, a particular sound, the first glimpse of a face, or maybe even an angel.

I believe we all have angels. The bible says they keep watch over us. They aren’t around to make us immortal but to help us. I also believe that children see them more than we do. They, children are pure if heart and that leads to an open heart. About a year ago two things happened that made me believe in children seeing their angels.
One afternoon after laying my son down for a nap I went and changed my cloths and in the process put on a necklace. The necklace was long and had three large fake diamonds in a row going down the necklace. I had worn it before but not often.
Later when Seth woke up I went to get him from his crib. He leaned over the crib and gave me a hug then he started playing with my necklace. He had been saying a few words but not a lot. He was just over a year. He held my necklace, looked at me and said, “angel, Sethies angel.”

Makes you think, makes me think. Are Angels sparkly?
Last summer while at summer camp I took the girls and Seth to the library for book club and summer reading program. Seth was having fun but it was the middle of the day and he was getting tired. I walked around with him while waiting for the girls to finish. Just before they were done Seth and I walked back into the room where everyone was and sat at the back. In the corner was a very old man in a wheelchair. Seth took one look at him and headed straight over, he climbed up in the mans lap and for a moment its like they shared something only they knew about. Seth was completely at ease and the man just smiled. It  was sweet and odd all at the same time. The Bible says that sometimes we entertain angels unaware. That they walk among us but maybe those who see nothing but good in this world are the only ones that notice the angels.

 

Do you have any angel stories?

 

More Trending Deserts September 21, 2012

Filed under: Cupcakes! — thecupcakemomma @ 9:43 pm
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Babycakes makes some of the cutest, easiest products to use. He are similar to waffle irons that can make so much more, such as, cupcakes, doughnuts, whoopie pies, cookies and now pies. I have only one disclaimer for their products. They work great but temperature can change and be greatly effected when you open them to pour the mix in. The back seems to stay hotter than the front. I would suggest you start at the front and move back when pouring mixes. Now that we have that out of the way we can get back to our deserts. Cake pops are still in however, they have also evolved to be a more unique desert. The trend is to bake small pies and stick them on a stick. Remember, small is the key, they will fall off, slip down or fall apart if they are two big. Make them slightly larger than a ping pong ball. If you are using the babycakes pie maker the size issue just got easier. Here is a picture and a link to the babycakes site.

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=safari&q=pie+on+a+stick&oq=pie+on+a+st&gs_l=mobile-gws-serp.1.0.0l5.1141298.1147848.0.1149207.11.9.0.0.0.0.432.2734.0j1j3j4j1.9.0.les%3B..0.0…1ac.1.-c6iKfdt7s4&mvs=0#miuv=0

http://thebabycakesshop.com/products/cupcake-makers

 

 
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